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雅思作文图表描述题秘传得分要诀 雅思作文点评:老龄化快速增长的优缺点

更新:2023年04月22日 14:57 雅思无忧

雅思考试主要是通过对考生听、说、读、写四个方面英语能力的考核,综合测评考生的英语沟通运用能力,实现“沟通为本”的考试理念。对于雅思考生来说,也有很多考试难点和政策盲区需要帮助解答。今天雅思无忧网小编准备了雅思作文图表描述题秘传得分要诀 雅思作文点评:老龄化快速增长的优缺点,希望通过文章来解决雅思考生这方面的疑难问题,敬请关注。
雅思作文图表描述题秘传得分要诀 雅思作文点评:老龄化快速增长的优缺点

雅思作文图表描述题秘传得分要诀

  每个句子都是由词汇组成,而对于参加雅思考试的考生来说,面对词汇量的庞大要求,短期之内突破单词无疑是痛苦的事情,雅思考试词汇是基础,只有把基础夯实了才有可能取得好成绩,下面介绍与图表相关的雅思考试词汇。

一、在运动范畴中存在着如下的8种运动趋向:

1.保持平稳:

我们可以使用的套用结构有:stay stable/remain steady。

举例:表示人口数量保持平稳的时候可以写:the number of population stayed stable./the number of population remained steady。

2.上升/增加:

我们可以使用的套用结构有:rise/climb/increase/ascend/mount/aggrandize(增加)

举例:人口上升:the number of population increased/ascended/mounted等等。

3.下降/减少:

我们可以使用的套用结构有:fall/drop/decrease/descend/decline

举例:人口减少:the number of population decreased/declined。

4. 下降后保持平稳:

这个图形比较奇怪,大家可以跟着我划一下:线段前面是向下的,后面是平的,在表示这个平的时候我们就不可以使用remain steady了,我们要使用的结构是bottom out。

举例:人口下降后保持平稳:the number of population decreased and bottomed out。

5.上升后保持平稳:

这个图形和上面那个类似,不过前面部分是上升的,后面部分是平的。前面的上升我们就不用说了,但是在上升以后保持平稳,我们需要使用level off。

举例:人口上升后保持平稳:number of population mounted and leveled off。

6.复苏:

前面下降了以后,然后就上升了,这两条线段的连接点就叫复苏。英语中表达为recover

举例:人口下降后复苏:number of population decreased and recovered。

7.波动:

这个我就不划了,就像我们的心电图一样。英语中叫fluctuate。

举例:人口波动:number of population fluctuated

8.达到顶峰:

peak/reach its summit/reach its zenith

举例:人口到达了顶峰:number of population peaked/reached its summit/reached its zenith。

二、程度只有两种,缓慢和陡然。

缓慢的/轻微的:gradually/*oothly/steadily/slightly

陡然的/大幅度的:dramatically /sharply/considerably/appreciably/

举例:

1.人口大幅度攀升:number of population mounted dramatically。

2.人口轻微下降:number of population decreased slightly。

3.人口逐渐下降:number of population decreased gradually 。

三、介词的使用

好了,我们现在已经说了两个范畴了,这个两个范畴可以帮你搞定任何线段组的描述。紧接下来我们要讨论的是如何将线段组与数据进行连接。非常简单,注意如下的介词使用。

(一)remain steady/stay stable/level off/bottom out/peak/reach its peak/reach its zenith 后面需要使用的是at。

举例:

1. 人口在500万上保持平稳:number of population remained steady at 5 million。

2. 人口在800万时到达了顶峰:number of population peaked at 8 million。

3. 下降后,人口在400万保持平稳:after decreasing, number of population bottomed out at 4 million。

4. 上升后,人口在700万保持平稳:after mounting, number of population leveled off at 7 million。

(二)上升/下降后面使用to(到)和by(了)

举例:

1. 人口下降到200万:number of population decreased to 2 million。

2. 人口下降了200万:number of population decreased by 2 million。

3. 人口上升到1000万:number of population increased to 10 million。

4. 人口上升了500万:number of population increased by 5 million。

(三)recover的后面大家需要使用的是from

举例:

人口在200万时开始复苏:number of population recovered from 2 million。

(四) fluctuate的后面大家需要连接between...and.。.

举例:

人口在2和100亿之间波动:number of population fluctuated between 2 and 10 billion. (那俩人是ADAM和EVE)

雅思作文点评:老龄化快速增长的优缺点

In many countries, the number of elderly people is increasing fast. To what extent do the disadvantages outweigh the advantages?

Nowadays, owning to the improvement of living condition(这里习惯用复数), people can live much longer than before, which gives rise to the fast increasing number of elderly people. Some hold that this situation will result in a series of problems, such as social burden, population expansion and so on. While others insist that it agrees the development of modern society and brings many advantages. For my part, I take the latter side with(用for) the following reasons: (74words)

点评:开头稍微写的有点长,不过内容写的还不错。属于通过分析两种不同观点,最后阐述自己观点的写法。(此种写法在雅思大作文的第一段比较常见)

美中不足的是倒数第二句的错误比较明显!while是个连词,应该连接句子与句子,所以这里前面不应该是句号。后面agree是不及物动词,不能直接加宾语。

Firstly, elder people(一会儿elderly people,一会儿又elder people,这不是自相矛盾么!!!) are the fortune of our society. They have enough experiences and capabilities which are badly lacked and needed for our youth when dealing with all sorts of problems, they can still do well in their jobs. Especially(前面应该用逗号,然后这里小写) in some professions, such as teacher, doctor, scientist and so on, sometimes (前面应该用句号,然后这里大写)age means the authority and ability. When you see a doctor, do you prefer an elderly doctor with grey hair or a youth without mustache? (77words)

Secondly, elder people(同上) are the happiness of our society. Increasing number of elderly people is also the embodiment of our improving living quality, which shows our society run(应该第三人称单数)to the right and healthy direction, we(前面句号,这里大写) have more chance and time to serve our elderly people, and it’s the happiest time of all our life to accompany with(accompany是及物动词) our parents, grandparents and great grandparents. (63words)

Finally, elderly people are the lubricant of our society. They have good temper and enough patients(应该是patience吧) to do anything, they can help us to intercede(它是不及物动词,而且主要用人作宾语) social disputes, and they make our society much more harmonious which(前面最好有个逗号)makes for the construction of harmonious society.(43words)

正文段综合点评:此篇是典型的5段式作文的写作,正文段构思出三个分论点来证明自己的观点,的确在构思上花了不少心思。但是,这里我想提的是,还是两方面都分析一下会比较好一点。特别这篇文章是问优点多还是缺点多,那么最好是缺点讲一个,然后优点再讲两个。外国人喜欢这样的辩证分析。

其次,总的来说,作者的语言还是挺流畅的。但是似乎标点有问题,该用句号的时候用逗号,改用逗号的时候用句号,这个也要扣分的!

From mentioned above, the advantages of increasing number of elderly people are obvious more than it disadvantages(典型的Chinese English.应该说there are obviously more advantages than disadvantages.). Elderly people are not the burden of our society but the source of fortune, happiness and harmony of our society.(37words)

全文总评:

尽管总的来说语言水平还是很不错的,内容也写得很充实,但缺点是语言方面还是不够细腻。此文7分。

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