雅思作文修改：传统文化在流失 雅思写作名师指导:做好语言准备,写好雅思作文

雅思考试主要是通过对考生听、说、读、写四个方面英语能力的考核，综合测评考生的英语沟通运用能力，实现“沟通为本”的考试理念。对于雅思考生来说，也有很多考试难点和政策盲区需要帮助解答。今天雅思无忧网小编准备了雅思作文修改：传统文化在流失 雅思写作名师指导:做好语言准备,写好雅思作文，希望通过文章来解决雅思考生这方面的疑难问题，敬请关注。

雅思作文修改：传统文化在流失

　　对于雅思写作而言，写完了修改的过程才是雅思写作中重要的过程，为此小编特收集整理关于传统文化在流失的雅思作文修改，分享给大家，希望对大家有所帮助，文中观点仅供参考。
　　题目：As the development of modern science and technologh,some aspects of traditional culture are being lost, so some people think that the traditional culture and technologh will be replaced by the modern science and technology such as computer or internet, what is your opinion?
　　原文：
　　It has been widely noted that some aspects of tradional cuture are being lost along with the development of modern science. As far as I concerned, the traditional culture and technologh will be replaced by the modern one for several reasons as follows,
　　My first reason is that the traditional culture is hindering the development of new science which can improve people's life. Traditional technology always combines with low efficiency. Suppose if the scientists are still using cars to go abroad and attand meetings, the cloning technique will be found many years later, and consequently, a lot of patient have died.
　　My second reason is based on the high fees used to protect the traditional culture. Government provide a huge amount of money to rebuild or decorate the old buildings just because they were built by our ancestors, never thinking of their uselessness for accomodation. If the money used to protect these buildings is delivered to the poor, a lot of them will solve the accomodation problem.
　　My third reason is that people prefer the modern science and technology with the increasingly improved education system. Twenty-first century has seen a great deal of development in the proportion of people who have taken the high education. They are more willing to use the modern science. For instance, college student always collect their thesis materials by surfing the Internet instead of borrowing books from the libraries.
　　All in all, although traditional culture is a heritage from the ancient, it couldn't keep pace with the development of society. The traditional culture and technology have no place in the future and will be eliminated in the end.
　　I want to ask what aspects I should improve if I want to get 6.5 in writing?
　　修改：
　　It is widely noted that some aspects of traditional culture
　　has been lost along with the development of modern science. As far as I concerned, the traditional culture and technology will be replaced in this modern erafor several reasons.
　　My first reason is that the traditional culture is hindering the development of new science which can improve people's life. Traditional technologies are always considered to be low efficiency. Suppose if the scientists are still using cars to go abroad and attand meetings, the cloning technique will be found many years later, and consequently, a lot of patient have died.
　　(this doesn’t make any sense, going abroad by car is nonsense, and it has no relationship to cloning technique, patient’s death is not necessarily as of the result from the delay of commuter.) Recommendation: revise and think of a more persuasive reasoning and logics.
　　My second reason is based on the high cost used to protect the traditional culture. Government provides a huge amount of money to rebuild or decorate the old buildings just because they were built by our ancestors; they seldom
　　considered their usefulness for accommodation. If the money used to protect these buildings was instead delivered to the poor, a lot of them will solve the accommodation problem.
　　My third reason is that people prefer modern science and technology with the increasingly improved education system. Twenty-first centuries has been seenhigh the proportion of people who have taken the higher education. They are more willing to use the modern science. For instance, college student always collect their thesis materials by surfing the Internet instead of borrowing books from the libraries.
　　All in all, although traditional culture is a heritage from the ancient, it couldn't keep pace with the development of society. The traditional culture and technology have no place in the future and will be eliminated in the end.
　　以上就是传统文化在流失的雅思作文修改的全部介绍，希望对大家有所帮助，最后祝大家都能考出好成绩。

雅思写作名师指导:做好语言准备,写好雅思作文

雅思考试首先是一个语言能力的考试，因此，在雅思作文的评分标准里面，语言永远都是最重要的一项。我们不用过分纠结于雅思官方评分标准里面对语言晦涩的描述，请大家想一想雅思考试的目的是什么?除开G类而言，是测试考生是否具备在英语国家的高等学校里面学习的能力，也就是在英语的学术环境里面生存的能力。试想，如果在雅思作文考试里面答非所问、错误百出、词不达意，怎么可能在以严谨、严格著称的英语学术体系里面生存呢?考官自然而然就会给这样的作文以低分，因为他认为这个考生没有或者欠缺在英语学术体系里面生存的基本能力。

心中了然这个雅思考试的基本目的，对我们写好雅思作文是很有帮助的，它能让我们在准备雅思考试的过程中做到有的放矢，少做无用功。现在各种雅思作文考试的辅导资料浩如烟海，各种培训机构多如牛毛，但只要仔细打量，就会发现其中龙蛇混杂、良莠不齐。很多辅导资料都很强调总结雅思作文的常用句式、常用词汇甚至常用的段落模板，这些工作固然重要，但永远不要忘记所有这些都是为了让我们的雅思作文符合英文学术写作的标准和要求。如果不是这样，一味纠缠于一些表面的词句段，那无异于照猫画虎、舍本求末了，万望各位考生注意。

那怎么才能让我们的雅思作文符合英文学术写作的标准和要求呢?首先大家应该了解一下什么是真正的英文学术语言。正式的英文学术语言首要的一个特征就是正式性和严肃性，具体体现为不用简写、不用口语、不用个人语气、不直接引用别人的原话或对话。道理很简单，学术文章不是小说，小说为了生动，给人一种身临其境的感觉，经常使用口语话、个人化的语言，也经常直接引用人物之间的对话。而学术文章则要求客观、严谨、条理清楚、逻辑清晰，没有或者极少个人的感*彩。举例来说，我们在口语或者小说中经常使用词的缩写形式或简易形式，比如you‘re， there’s等等，但在雅思作文中我们就不能用这些简写形式，而应该用完整形式you are， there is;又比如口语中经常把冰箱叫做fridge， 雅思作文中我们就应该用refrigerator不用fridge。另外，在论述的时候最好不要直接引用别人的话：如“。。.。。.”， says 某某某，而应该用According to 某某某，然后再用自己的语言简述他的观点，这样显得很专业。当然，你如果用了这些简写或者口语化的语言也不能说你错了，考官也能理解你的意思，但会极大影响考官对你作文的整体印象和评分。

英文学术语言的第二个特征就是经常使用被动语态。一般说来，当强调动作承受者，不必说出执行者或含糊不清的执行者时，多用被动式。须注意的是，许多地方与汉语不同，有时候汉语中没有“被……”的意思，英语却应该用被动态，这是语言使用习惯问题，在英语中被动语态的使用已经成为了一个习惯。换句话说，在写作文的时候，大家不要等到在汉语中有“被……”的意思的时候才想起用被动语态。在该用被动语态的时候用主动语态，就会感到很别扭，意思可能相差不大，但让人一看便知不是地道的英语。例如，Richard Nixon曾经有句名言，他是这样说的：“A man is not finished when he is defeated. He is finished when he quits.”这个意思如果用汉语说，就是“当一个人失败的时候，他还没有完;而当他放弃的时候，他才是完了”。在汉语里没有一个“被”字，但同样的意思你如果不用被动语态在英语里就表达得不正宗、不地道、不到位。在描述事件和客观事实的时候，被动语态用得更多，大家来看BBC网站上的一个新闻报道，题目就是“10，000 NHS patients ‘to have genes mapped’”请大家注意其中mapped的用法，翻译成汉语就是10000个NHS患者的基因图谱破译成功(注：NHS 即National Health Service，英国国家卫生事业局，如果大家去英国留学就会每人填一张NHS的登记表，享受免费医疗)，这么多意思，一个mapped就表达出来了，这就是地道的英语，请大家细细体会其中的精妙之处。

英文学术语言的第三个特征就是用词准确、句式多变。用词的准确性和多变也很值得一提。例如在犯罪类考题中，如果问到“是否应该加大对罪犯的惩处力度”，在表达“(实施)惩罚”时，能用的动词就包括“to punish”、“to impose … on”、“to carry out”和“to enforce”。又例如在经济类考题中，如果问到“经济是否是评价一个国家成功的唯一标准”，句子中的经济就可以用以下表达方式： “economic factor”，“economic growth”，“economic development”，“domestic economy”， “a sound economic performance”等等。这种用不同的词汇表达同一个意思的能力， 能让你的文章显得更加生动。试想，如果通篇表达经济这个概念时只用一个简单的“economy”，虽然没什么错误，但也绝对没有亮点，这是想取得高分的同学的大忌，这也是我一直向学生强调的一个重要的写作原则。当然，要做到这一点并不容易，需要大家平时多用心，多积累。

句式多变也是雅思写作标准中的明确要求之。我们看看一篇高分作文中的两段：

The idea that a marriage should be arranged by the parents of the couple， or by other members-of the family， is quite acceptable to some societies， yet completely out of the question for others. It all depends on your cultural expectations。

In so-called western societies， it is very unusual for marriages to be arranged. Most young people would not welcome the idea that their parents have the right to choose their partner for life. They feel that arranged marriages deny them their fundamental right to choose， even if they make a bad decision。

这两段范文里所用的句式包括宾语从句、定语从句、原因状语从句、条件状语从句、让步状语从句、形式主语、并列句等等，句式的多样使文章显得很丰满，不单调，这样的文章就很容易得高分。当然，考生也要注意多样的句式不是目的，而是手段，如果脱离了论述的内容，单纯堆砌各种死记硬背的所谓模板和句式，只能适得其反。就评分而言，只要主题鲜明、逻辑清晰，即使句式简单些，也能得6分，甚至6.5，但如果主题不突出，逻辑混乱，不知所云，即使句式写得天花乱坠，也只能得5分，所以大家一定要分清主次，把握好分寸。

综上所述，只要我们清楚了雅思考试的目的，达到以上三个基本要求，就能满足在英语国家学术机构里学习的基本需求，在雅思作文考试里取得好成绩也就成了顺理成章的事情。如何做到呢?其中有很多有效的方法，比如总结经典的句式和句型，总结经典的表达方法，多记同义词等等，由于篇幅所限，这里就不多说了，我将在课堂上为大家详细讲述。但再多的方法也离不开多看、多记、多写、多练，希望考生们能够多做归纳、多思考、多练习，自然就能在雅思考试里取得好的成绩。

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