雅思作文想拿高分 雅思作文修改：学生分班问题

雅思考试主要是通过对考生听、说、读、写四个方面英语能力的考核，综合测评考生的英语沟通运用能力，实现“沟通为本”的考试理念。对于雅思考生来说，也有很多考试难点和政策盲区需要帮助解答。今天雅思无忧网小编准备了雅思作文想拿高分 雅思作文修改：学生分班问题，希望通过文章来解决雅思考生这方面的疑难问题，敬请关注。

雅思作文想拿高分 这四个错误一定不能犯！

雅思写作向来是令大家头疼的问题，有时候觉得自己写得很不错，但是得分却很低，本文中，新东方在线于思靓老师将结合考生作文为大家详解雅思作文技巧。

大家现在所看到的这篇小作文选自C6T2，同其他考官范文不同， 这篇文章出自考生之手。具体这篇考生的作文得了几分咱们先*个关子，假如你是雅思考官，按照写作评分的四大项标准， 你会给他打几分呢？

The table below gives information about changes in modes of travel in England between 1985 and 2000.

In 2000 the most preferred mode of travel is by car with 4, 806 people. There's a noticeable decrease in public transportation locally where it dropped from 429 people in 1985 to 274 people in 2000. However the long distance bus rides is much more preferred by people as its figures are more than doubled in the last 15 years. People who chose to walk or cycle are decreased slightly in 2000. Which probably made people to take the take the train more often. There's a significant increase in the numbers of people who travelled by train. It jumped from 289 in 1985 to 366 in 2000. This makes the train second popular mode of transportation. The biggest leap in the chart is the increase of taxi users who are tripled in 2000 with 42 people. Where it was only 13 in 1985

Apart from all this modes of travel, there are some more different types of travel as well of course. Number of people choosing different modes of travel is rapidly increased from 450 to 585 in 2000.

我们先从客观地从考官的评分角度来评判下这篇文章。

首先从文章的内容上来看，考生确实从趋势角度描写了数据变化，但描写逻辑混乱。开端描述了car，local bus 及 long distance bus。Car的数据自始至终都是最大的，先描写也毋庸置疑，但local bus 和 long distance bus，变化数据设计不多，同时变化趋势也不相同，放在一起描述没有意义。其次，此文没有描述表格中的总量这一数据，这也是其失分的原因。

再来看下这篇文章数字后所带的单位，考生的作文中带的是people， 但仔细审题后我们会发现，这篇作文的真正单位实际是miles，通篇文章对单位的理解都是错误的。

接下来我们来看结构，通篇文章分成两段。考官习作中有分成三段、四段及五段的小作文的例子，但两段的绝对没有。同时，文章开篇直接就描述了最大数据， 缺少了开头段的引入，结尾段也并不是考官所期望看到的总结性信息。

不过从词汇角度来看， 文章代词及连词使用较好。

a.However the long distance bus rides is much more preferred by people as its figures are more than doubled in the last 15 years.Its指代long distance bus ride。

b.It jumped from 289 in 1985 to 366 in 2000. It指代the number of people who travelled by train.

c.This makes the train second popular mode of transportation. This 指代上一句话。

从语法角度来看， 文章细小问题较多。

a.时态：数据变化时间为1985-2000，为一般过去，考生采用的为一般现在。

b.主谓一致：However the long distance bus rides is much more preferred by people as its figures are more than doubled in the last 15 years. 主语复数，谓语动词单数，主谓不一致。

c.名词单复数： There's a significant increase in the numbers of people who travelled by train. Number应为单数。

d.被动语态： as its figures are more than doubled in the last 15 years.People who chose to walk or cycle are decreased slightly in 2000.Number of people choosing different modes of travel is rapidly increased from 450 to 585 in 2000. 这三个句子的动词应该全部改为主动语态。

这样的作文究竟可以得几分呢， 我们来看下考官评语，实际同我们刚刚分析时给出的关键点是一致的。

This is an answer written by a candidate who achieved a Band 6 score. Here is the examiner's comment:

This answer does not introduce the information in the table, nor does it report it accurately. The figures are misinterpreted as representing the number of people rather than the average number of miles travelled per person per year. Consequently the information about the increase in total travel is simply not mentioned, so not all key information is covered. There is an attempt to summarize trends in the figures, but the reader cannot get a clear overall picture of the information because of the fundamental confusion.

Nevertheless, the information is organized and the writing flows quite well because of good use of referencing and other connectors, but there are occasional errors in these and the links between ideas are slightly confusing at times.

The strong feature in this answer is the range of vocabulary which is used with some flexibility and good control. A good range of structures is also used, but there are still some fairly basic mistakes, such as in the choice of tense, subject/verb agreement and inappropriate use of the passive.

当然我们分析这篇考生习作的最终目的不是想告诉大家6分的作文错误百出，于思靓老师是希望同学们可以取长补短，像这篇作文考生所出现的基本问题，如时态、单位、语态等在你的作文中要避免出现，像考官特别看重的他的句子多样性的运用要多加学习。最后期待大家能拿到理想的分数。

雅思作文修改：学生分班问题

The notions of tracking and ability grouping have been contentious topics since the 1970s. Should students be grouped according to their academic ability?

There is much discussion these days about the notions of tracking and ability grouping since the 1970s. Some people believe that it is damaging to students’ development, while others harbor the opinion that it is beneficial for them. From my point of view, I am definitely in agreement with the latter opinion.

In the first instance, it is easier for teachers to teach according to their academic ability. Teachers should not worry about the students who get lower grades will not understand what they said（teach） during the class anymore. If teachers spend more time explaining for the students with lower ability, it is a waste of time for the students who has understood. It is unfair.

Secondly, it is the best way to study together for the students with the same level. They can discuss, exchange their ideas and deal with problems together. However, if now there are some students with lower levels among them, the students may be too shy to express their views, for they are afraid of being laughed at. Perhaps, those students would become more and more introverted resulting from this. Furthermore, the competition between students with higher levels is so fierce that they should try all the way out to keep their positions in the class, imaging it, can the rest students adapt to this situation? I think it is likely to have an unfavorable influence on their confidence.

Even though some people think it is rather bad to distinct the students, if students can benefit from this, I strongly suggest that we can take it into account.

All in all, in my opinion, I am in high favor that students should be grouped according to their ability because this can help students develop better in the future.

这篇文章整体结构很清晰，各部分处理的也不错

缺点在于：

第一，两段立论段落论述的比较单薄

你分成了两段，对学生，对老师

如果让我给你建议，我会这样分段：

1. 对学生学习方面的影响

2. 对学生心理层面的影响

这样可能会更有深度

第二，开头段的直接引入太简单了，改为大范围会好一点，这是我们上课讲的一个重点

With the rapid social development, there are many arguments about education, among which the notions of tracking and ability grouping since the 1970s could be one of the most remarkable one. Quite a few people believe that it is damaging to students’ development, but in practice, i hold the opinion that it is beneficial for them.

如果我来打分的话：band 5/5.5

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