雅思考试主要是通过对考生听、说、读、写四个方面英语能力的考核,综合测评考生的英语沟通运用能力,实现“沟通为本”的考试理念。对于雅思考生来说,也有很多考试难点和政策盲区需要帮助解答。今天雅思无忧网小编准备了何为高分雅思作文 雅思作文范文:电脑游戏有助老年人保持智力,希望通过文章来解决雅思考生这方面的疑难问题,敬请关注。
请看下面这个小作文的开头段,看似行文流水,实则欲哭无泪。
As can be seen from the table chart, it gives us the percentage of national consumer experience by category in 2002 in five different countries.谈及套句,小作文中“As can be seen from…”曾被列为小作文必备佳句,而孰不知此句虽好,但native speaker 常把它放在主体段落开头句。若论行文习惯,实在勉强。再者,“table chart”必会让考官在批卷的疲劳中会心一笑。但是烤鸭们,不知啊,你让他笑,他却让你人比黄花瘦,尽管他是那样的爱你。此短语翻译成中文叫“表格图”,考生自是觉得挺有中国风的感觉。但考官会认为是“这table就是表格,也就是图的一种,还后面要是再加一chart,再来一图。实为black sheep 一族”啊!南部陈更要翻译成“表格图图”?实在是具有喜感啊!再论“us”一词,感觉倒是亲民派系, 考官考生一家人啊。但是,雅思写作,半学术文体,这词总有点较为随意。所以,宁为被动,隐去施动者,换成it can be seen ,或是it represents that 等句,或许会更好点。考生最无辜的地方就是下面的这个percentage。我们都知道,衣服表格不可能只有全图一个数据,又怎会遗忘名词单复数的问题呢?最后那个“in 2002 in five different countries”,感觉起来好似是信息满满,不知道是否也是信心满满?语法老师告诉我们:当句子中同时有地点状语和时间状语时,一般要把地点状语放在时间状语之前 。要知道,不走寻常路,那是考官的作风。考生要是也这样做,哭泣大于微笑。 雅思作文这样批,你懂的……---系列二 People have, in rercent years, shown concern on the dire consequences of global warming and air pollution. Some people suggest that we should limit are travel(travelling) instead of car use. It seems to me that the objection against air travel is based on incorrect facts and stereotypes.(The)Vehicle is an integral segment of urban industrial civilization, mirroring contemporary life, in its best and unrest aspects. Just as machinery is integral to industrialization, air is central to world economy.(有逻辑关系吗?)Air travels make it possible for people to move around the world freely and quickly. Today, the tips can be completed in a matter of hours. One can attend a meeting in Pairs and dinner in New York the same day. There is a growing recognition that air travels have several advantages, while(连接词使用有误,改成meanwhile)it can(补上主语) ensures(删掉s) the growth of modern business such as international touri*, transportation and express delivery ,etc. Therefore, limiting air travel itself is a grave mistake ,that (非限定从句引导词改成which)would be a severe blow to these industries and may even damage world economy. It’s true that one long-distance flight consumes more fuel and causes even more pollution than a car journey. But air trips have more outweight than car journey in the long journey (什么意思?)and the numbers of passengers. However, cars also can release gases that pollution the air, and cause great damage human health. Giving up air travels for(应改成instead of) car journeys(什么意思?) hoping there will be less pollution is certainly a fruitless act. According to the above *ysis, we can observe that limiting air travels cannot solve the environmental problems. We should aim at developing cleaner fuels an more efficient engines that will allow us to enjoy travelling without putting the environment in danger 终极点评:结构安排较好,5.5基本保证。但细节错误过多,尤其是衔接手段较为机械。雅思作文主要考察学生对词汇、语法的掌握,以及逻辑和结构构架能力,一篇好的雅思作文范文能够帮助同学们抓住雅思作文的得分点,并能给大家提供提供高分词汇和句式。下面,我们就来看一篇雅思作文范文:关于生活方式。 Many over-60s may never have played a video game, nor have any inclination to do so. New research, however, suggests that playing strategic video games – those that emphasise resource management and planning, for example – may help the elderly to maintain mental abilities including memory, reasoning and the capacity for multi-tasking。 Arthur Kramer of the University of Illinois said it was the first study to find improvement in cognitive skills that were not directly related to the skills learned in the game. The research is published in the journal Psychology and Aging。 The game used in the study was “Rise of Nations”, in which gamers score points for building cities, feeding and employing their people, and maintaining and expanding their territory. Participants in the study who were trained to play the game showed significant cognitive benefits compared with those who were not: they were able to switch between tasks better and faster, and their working memory significantly improved。 “This is one mode in which older people can stay mentally fit, cognitively fit,” Prof Kramer said, adding that socialising, exercising and eating well were also important to mental health in later years。 许多60岁以上的老人可能从未玩过电脑游戏,也没有打算这样做。不过,一项新的研究表明,玩战略性电脑游戏——例如那些强调资源管理和规划的游戏——可能有助于老年人保持智力,包括记忆、推理和多任务处理能力等。 伊利诺伊大学(University of Illinois)的亚瑟?克雷默(Arthur Kramer)表示,这项研究首次发现,与游戏中所学技能没有直接关系的认知技能得到改善。该研究发表在《心理学与衰老》(Psychology and Aging)杂志上。 研究中使用的游戏是“国家的崛起”(Rise of Nations)。在游戏中,通过修建城市、供养和雇佣自己的人民以及保护和扩张自己的领土,玩家都可以得分。在研究参与者中,接受打游戏培训的人比没有接受的人显示出了明显的认知益处:他们能够更好更快地进行任务转换,而且工作记忆有了显著提高。 克雷默表示:“这是一种老年人保持精神健康、认知健康的模式。”他补充道,社交、锻炼和吃得好对晚年的精神健康也很重要。 当然我们并不主张考生死记雅思作文范文,考试时如果遇到类似题目照搬上去,这并不能考察考生的写作能力。大家多背一些范文,可以积累一些素材,像好的短语、词、句等,灵活运用,才是正确的备考之道。 |
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