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让考官看懂你的雅思作文 雅思作文修改:传统文化在流失

更新:2023年05月02日 12:39 雅思无忧

雅思考试主要是通过对考生听、说、读、写四个方面英语能力的考核,综合测评考生的英语沟通运用能力,实现“沟通为本”的考试理念。对于雅思考生来说,也有很多考试难点和政策盲区需要帮助解答。今天雅思无忧网小编准备了让考官看懂你的雅思作文 雅思作文修改:传统文化在流失,希望通过文章来解决雅思考生这方面的疑难问题,敬请关注。
让考官看懂你的雅思作文 雅思作文修改:传统文化在流失

准确表达写作内容 让考官看懂你的雅思作文

一般情况下,烤鸭们会很顺利地读懂自己写的雅思作文,但是却不知道,身为“老外”的雅思考官是否能读出同样的味道。这主要是因为汉语和英语在表达顺序上的差异。

首先我们先看几个短句,来体会这种语言差异:

例1:Chatting on the Internet provides us with a lot of fun.

网上聊天给我带来很多乐趣。

汉语:网上 聊天

英语:聊天 在网上

可见,英语习惯性地将修饰成分后置,尤其是短语结构的修饰语。

更多例子:

Self-confidence is the first step on the road to success.

自信是成功之路的第一步。

汉语:成功之路 的第一步

英语:第一步 在路上 成功的

Living without an aim is like sailing without a compass.

没有目标的活着就像没有罗盘的航行。

汉语: 没有目标地 活着

英语:活着 没有目标

汉语:没有罗盘的 航行

英语:航行 没有罗盘

看了以上的例子我们不难发现英语和汉语在修饰方面的差异,下面让我们练习翻译几个句子,进一步体会写作过程中如何利用这样规律:

练习1: 一提到即将开始的学校生活,许多学生都会兴高采烈。

step1:找句子的主干(表达的核心内容)——学生都会兴高采烈numerous students will go to rapture

step2:找修饰成分——生活life——学校生活school life——即将开始的学校生活 the coming school life

考虑到修饰位置的平衡我们将the coming school life调整为the coming life of school, 修饰的核心词是life,前后都有修饰语,结构上比较平衡,避免修饰语过多而造成chinglish。

step3:整理——Numerous students will go to rapture at the mere mention of the coming life of school.

注意:英语习惯将重要信息前置,所以一般先写句子主干,在写其他修成成分。这样你的表达和老外的理解就很容易契合。

练习2: 考虑到问题的严重性,在事态进一步恶化之前,必须采取有效的措施。

step1:找主干——必须采取有效的措施:effective measures should be taken(由于无明确主语所以选择被动形式)

step2: 找修饰语——(1)考虑到问题的严重性in view of the seriousness of this problem

(2)在事态进一步恶化之前(时间状语)before things get worse

step3:整理In view of the seriousness of this problem ,effective measures should be taken before things get worse.

注意:此处,修饰成分没有全部放到句子后面,而是分为两个部分一个放前一个放后,这是考虑句子平衡的结果。

不知道同学们是否有了一些启发。同时希望愤怒的烤鸭们能尽快拿到自己的理想成绩。

雅思作文修改:传统文化在流失


  对于雅思写作而言,写完了修改的过程才是雅思写作中重要的过程,为此小编特收集整理关于传统文化在流失的雅思作文修改,分享给大家,希望对大家有所帮助,文中观点仅供参考。
  题目:As the development of modern science and technologh,some aspects of traditional culture are being lost, so some people think that the traditional culture and technologh will be replaced by the modern science and technology such as computer or internet, what is your opinion?
  原文:
  It has been widely noted that some aspects of tradional cuture are being lost along with the development of modern science. As far as I concerned, the traditional culture and technologh will be replaced by the modern one for several reasons as follows,
  My first reason is that the traditional culture is hindering the development of new science which can improve people's life. Traditional technology always combines with low efficiency. Suppose if the scientists are still using cars to go abroad and attand meetings, the cloning technique will be found many years later, and consequently, a lot of patient have died.
  My second reason is based on the high fees used to protect the traditional culture. Government provide a huge amount of money to rebuild or decorate the old buildings just because they were built by our ancestors, never thinking of their uselessness for accomodation. If the money used to protect these buildings is delivered to the poor, a lot of them will solve the accomodation problem.
  My third reason is that people prefer the modern science and technology with the increasingly improved education system. Twenty-first century has seen a great deal of development in the proportion of people who have taken the high education. They are more willing to use the modern science. For instance, college student always collect their thesis materials by surfing the Internet instead of borrowing books from the libraries.
  All in all, although traditional culture is a heritage from the ancient, it couldn't keep pace with the development of society. The traditional culture and technology have no place in the future and will be eliminated in the end.
  I want to ask what aspects I should improve if I want to get 6.5 in writing?
  修改:
  It is widely noted that some aspects of traditional culture
  has been lost along with the development of modern science. As far as I concerned, the traditional culture and technology will be replaced in this modern erafor several reasons.
  My first reason is that the traditional culture is hindering the development of new science which can improve people's life. Traditional technologies are always considered to be low efficiency. Suppose if the scientists are still using cars to go abroad and attand meetings, the cloning technique will be found many years later, and consequently, a lot of patient have died.
  (this doesn’t make any sense, going abroad by car is nonsense, and it has no relationship to cloning technique, patient’s death is not necessarily as of the result from the delay of commuter.) Recommendation: revise and think of a more persuasive reasoning and logics.
  My second reason is based on the high cost used to protect the traditional culture. Government provides a huge amount of money to rebuild or decorate the old buildings just because they were built by our ancestors; they seldom
  considered their usefulness for accommodation. If the money used to protect these buildings was instead delivered to the poor, a lot of them will solve the accommodation problem.
  My third reason is that people prefer modern science and technology with the increasingly improved education system. Twenty-first centuries has been seenhigh the proportion of people who have taken the higher education. They are more willing to use the modern science. For instance, college student always collect their thesis materials by surfing the Internet instead of borrowing books from the libraries.
  All in all, although traditional culture is a heritage from the ancient, it couldn't keep pace with the development of society. The traditional culture and technology have no place in the future and will be eliminated in the end.
  以上就是传统文化在流失的雅思作文修改的全部介绍,希望对大家有所帮助,最后祝大家都能考出好成绩。

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